Hyper Snake, Caffeine Crazy!
by SamandMax
Summary: The story involves caffeine binges, the mexican mafia, and Yahoo Serious. I think you can tell what it's going to be like just from that.


Hyper Snake, Caffeine Crazy!  
  
  
  
Otacon- Hi Snake.  
  
Snake- HELLO!  
  
Otacon- Aw crap. Have you been drinking coffee again?  
  
Snake- TEE HEE HEE! MAYBE...  
  
Otacon- Dear god. Wait here, I have to go call the firemen.  
  
Snake- I DON'T THINK SO!  
  
Otacon- What are you doing Snake! NOOOOOOOOO!  
  
  
  
  
New York City, City Under Seige  
  
  
  
Colonel's Basement   
  
  
Raiden- Colonel, we had another Snake sighting. Someone saw him just eat an entire wedding cake down at the mall.  
  
Colonel- Damn. Now he's got sugar with that caffeine. We have to stop him, his hyper rampage must stop now.  
  
Raiden- Bad news Colonel. We found Otacon, Snake threw a net on top of him and beat him up with a ping pong paddle.  
  
Colonel- Ok men, this is code red. Load your tranqs, we're taking down Snake.  
  
  
  
Dark, Dirty Alleyway (AKA Wino Headquarters)  
  
  
  
Hobo McGee- Hello? Is anyone there?  
  
Snake- VROOOOOM!  
  
Hobo McGee- Who's there? I saw you run past me! Don't make me get Jack Daniels to beat you up.  
  
  
Snake- I SEE YOU, BUT YOU DON'T SEE ME! TEE HEE HEE!  
  
Hobo McGee- Someone help! There's a weirdo trying to kill me! I think he's hopped up on something!  
  
Snake- THE ONLY THING HOPPED UP IS KANGAROOOOOO JACK!  
  
Hobo McGee- Kangaroo Jack? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
  
  
Colonel's Basement  
  
  
Otacon- Colonel, I just got a strange report. Some wino reported that Kangaroo Jack lept out of the shadows and beat him up with a ping pong paddle.  
  
Colonel- That's Snake! Where is he?  
  
Otacon- He was last seen running towards New Jersey. And with all that caffeine in his blood, he's probaly aready there.  
  
  
  
New Jersey (AKA Crud Town)  
  
  
Colonel- Ok men, remember. When you see Snake, shoot without thinking. He's a dangerous to everyone.  
  
Otacon- And remember: he's got caffeine in him, he will kill you if he gets the chance!  
  
Soldier- What do I do if he corners us  
  
Colonel- You better start prayin'  
  
Otacon- Wow. That was a good one liner. I liked how you said Prayin', replacing the g with a '.  
  
Colonel- Thank you. I've been working on it for weeks.  
  
Soldier- Look Colonel, over there! Snake's entering that coffee factory.  
  
Colonel- Lock and load men. If Snake gets any more caffeine in him, we're all dead.  
  
  
  
Coffee Factory (AKA Dave Coulier Love Mansion)  
  
  
Soldier- H-H-Hello??  
  
Snake- ANSWER MY RIDDLE, AND I WILL LET YOU LIVE! TEE HAW TEE HAW  
  
Soldier- Uhhh...ok...  
  
Snake- IF I WAS TO MAKE A SOUND LIKE TODAY, WHAT DAY WOULD IT BE?  
  
Soldier- Monday?  
  
Snake- WRONG! THE CORRECT ANSWER IS INSPECTOR GADGET!  
  
Soldier- AHHHHHHHH!  
  
  
  
Otacon- Colonel, did you hear that?  
  
Colonel- No. I was listening to this book version of Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.  
  
Otacon- I think Unnamed Soldier #3 was caught!  
  
Colonel- Ok Otacon, the madness stops here. We're taking Snake down.  
  
Snake- AHEEEEEEEEE, I WILL NEVER GO DOWN!  
  
Otacon- Ok Snake, you had some crazed fun, but it's time to stop!  
  
Snake- I WON'T STOP, I'M THE GREAT SNAKEOLA! I CAN MAGIC A HAT FLY OUT FROM A RABBIT'S SKULL!  
  
Colonel- No more games Snake, it's shootin' time!  
  
  
  
Five minutes later  
  
  
  
Colonel- WAAAHHH! I'll do anything you want! I'll make you a cake! Just don't eat my brain!  
  
Snake- TOO HEE HAA! IT'S TIME FOR THE BRAIN FEAST....Ok, never mind. I'm ok again.  
  
Otacon- Phew. I thought you were going to kill us.  
  
Snake- Well, I was going to, but the caffeine wore off. I guess it'll have to wait for next time.  
  
Otacon- So...now what?  
  
Colonel- Let's go home.  
  
Snake- No, your house smells funny.  
  
Otacon- Then let's go on a crazy spring break road trip to Mexico!   
  
All- YEAH!  
  
  
  
Mexico (AKA Dancin' Bean Crackerjack Hour)  
  
  
Snake- Well guys, now let's really go home.  
  
Mafia Don- I'm afraid I can't let you leave. You owe the mexican mafia eighty thousand dollars.  
  
Otacon- Colonel, did you really have to promise the mafia eighty thousand dollars to kill Yahoo Serious.  
  
Colonel- Yes. Yes I did. I seen the movie Young Einstein, I think Yahoo Serious deserved what he had coming to him.  
  
Yahoo Serious- BOO!  
  
All- AHHHHHHH! IT'S YOUNG EINSTEIN!  
  
Yahoo Serious- C'mon guys, let's go beat up Paul Hogan!  
  
All- YAHHHHHOOOOO!  
  
  
  
  
  
The End 


End file.
